Radiation – 2 weeks in

I had my 10. Radiation yesterday. 5 more to go.

It’s starting to effect my body. I’m not burnt yet, but I’m soooo tired. I have problems to follow conversations with more then two people. I forget things all the time. My waking hours are mostly spent looking for things or trying to remember what I was supposed to do. 

I still go for my morning walks and try to work out at the hospital or at the gym I’m using. The anti estrogen pills Letrozol are no joke. I have such joint and muscle pain I have problems sleeping now. And the night sweats…. only 1789 pills left though, I can do it 👍


Still, I’m doing really well. My body may be broken, but my spirit keeps marching on!

The weather is fantastic in Oslo now. I just have to keep the area around Victoria (my right boob) and up to my neck + the back side, out of the sun. No beachlife or bikinis yet. 

Jarle and I have been as social as I can manage. If I sleep for 2 hours in the afternoon, then I can meet people or go out to dinner. I so want to get out of the apartment and live!

Today we are going to stay at Grand Hotel and have a wonderful dinner to celebrate our first anniversary. 

This was one year ago:


In spite of all we are happier then ever and very much in love ❤️

Last few weeks

I have been busy doing absolutely nothing the last few weeks. Or rather, I have been busy enjoying life to the fullest so I have not written any posts lately.

My health is pretty good. However, the pain in my knees and heels will not go away. I don’t know if it is “left overs” from the Taxol chemo, or if it is new side effects from the Letrozol pills. They are my anti estrogen pills to prevent recurrence. The amount of possible side effects is just crazy. It even says in the package: ” Do not get alarmed when reading this…”. I will have to take them for 5 years. Took one this morning as well, now only 1808 pills to go. 

My radiation has been postponed to May 23. I have been at the Radiumhospitalet and met my new doctors and nurses. All preparations are done, and I am marked for radiation. The lines are done with markers, but the circles (I have 3) are tattoos. They will fade in the years to come.


Spring has come to Oslo, today is a wonderful sunny day. We have had some of those and have been dining on the balcony. We have also had a dear friend, Tommy, a food and wine lover as well, over to dinner. We served scallops, trout and creme brulee + Chardonney and a Sautern. Silje helped me in the kitchen and with the dessert. I am getting more and more hungry as I write…. must have food… soon…


We have also visited one of our favourite pizza restautants in Oslo: Santinos on Youngstorget. Hawaii pizza (pepperoni and pinapple) + Brunello. No wonder Jarle is smiling! In the background our favourite waiter who is from Brazil. He is always very attentive and friendly and provides superb service (Bom Dia, Michael 😃).


Must be fed now…. home made chicken burgers today 😜👍

Partytime (April 10)

It was decided on April 7 that I should not get any more chemo because my body and brain just could not handle any more. Good News. More good news was my birthday coming up on April 10, I was finally turning 53. I wanted to have a party and celebrate, but was in poor condition – health and money wise. So I invited a lot of friends and family and told them to bring cake and wine 👍😜

I had the best of times. Thank you all so much for giving me this day – my cup runneth over!

Enjoy the pictures, and please notice my awesome “f..ck-death-dress”. At this point we did not know that my prognosis was that good, we just celebrated life in all its beauty ❤️

#cancercannothavethisdiva (you can find me on Instagram as giggin2 )

Good news!!

Short but sweet; I had some problems lately so my oncologist thought I might have had a small stroke. Got the results from my MR today. All is well, I still have a sharp head on my shoulders. 

I will start my radiation on May 19 at Radiumshospitalet, another hospital. 

The oncologist today said I don’t have to be back for tests until next year. And here’s the kicker: It is most probable that I will not have any recurrence. That I will not get cancer again  – ever. Not only during the next five years. Not never. Never, ever again. 
The gratitude, love and joy can not be explained in words ❤️


No chemo today

I didn’t get my chemo treatment today. 

The side effects are too strong now. Had two nurses talking with me about this at the hospital, a doctor who checked in on me twice and they consulted with my oncologist (he was not present today). This all made me scared and upset so I cried and made even less sense. Then the other doctor and the two nurses came back and said that my body can not tolerate more chemo now. Was finally sent home at 2 pm. At this point I felt really weak since I had my breakfast at 6:30 am and only water since then.

I have had 8 of 12 Taxol treatments and they assured me that this was enough, that is, I do not have a higher risk of relapse than if I had taken all 12?!  Well, I choose to believe them. They are the experts. And I certainly feel that I have had enough. Started my different chemo treatments in November 2015.

I should have had less side effects now than right after the previous chemo, but it has only increased: trouble walking properly – especially stairs, can hardly hold a knife / fork, hardly sleeping although I am exhausted, nosebleeds, pain in joints and muscles that are so strong that I have to take painkillers several times a day, tingling / numbness in the fingertips, feeling like walking on cushions, edema, swollen watery eyes, big trouble to stay focused, short term memory is horrible. The list goes on…..

Because there is a risk of permanent damage from the side effects the treatment today was  stopped. Going back on Thursday, for blood tests and to meet with my oncologist.

Will I continue with chemotherapy next week? No f…ing way!!!!

Tomorrow I will feel really good about this, for sure, but right now I am just cold and tired. I will now have about 5 weeks to heal before the radiation starts.

Thank you for letting me get this miserable shit off my mind – feel better already ❤️

Easter

Had my seventh Taxol a week ago. All went well. This time I shared chemo room with Wenche and we chatted the whole time. We even had the same chemo nurse, she’s the best. We are both happy not to have an VAP (venous access port) and are hoping that our veins will be strong enough for the rest of chemo treatments.  

 While we were waiting for the blood tests we met many of the other boob sisters and we had the best of times. We laughed so hard we were afraid they would kick us out. Now, that would have been a story to tell for the future generations: grandma got kicked out of cancerhospital because she was cracking too many jokes! 

But honestly, we tend to say that someday we will laugh at this, when shit hits the fan. I say, why wait? Let someday be TODAY. 

The chemo is starting to take it’s toll on my body and mind. I have to slow down even more and lie down several times a day. However, I am still able to take my morning walk, buy and prepare dinner, do all the laundry AND spend endless hours on Netflix (just finished Johan Falk, this is in swedish. Absolutely f….ing awesome)!

 
Highlights from Easter: got flowers from my colleagues, my son came to visit, we had a great dinner at St Lars restaurant to celebrate Jarles birthday and stayed at a hotel. My boss treated me to lunch and coffee yesterday. It was really good to talk about the future, make plans for me returning to work, and most of all to feel the support, they are all rooting for me (forgot to take pics). 

Mami and son   

Flowers from work

My easter egg. Our Easter chicken watching our armadillos .

  

The birthday boy (51 years)
  

Cheque out my dress (perfect for a cancer patient)

  

When the bill is presented like this you know you better give a big tip….
  

A room with a view (and my new blue nail polish)

 

All is well in my world ❤️

  

Taxol, fifth round

The day before my chemo I went to see Ljana, my reflexologist at Oslo Massasje AS. Not only is she super good at what she is doing, but also really kind and warm. This time I got acupunture as well. To ease the pain and side effects from chemo, to stay calm and to sleep better. Loved the treatment and slept like a baby.

   
 
Jarle had the day off from work so he came with me to the hospital. Met many of the boob sisters this time. This makes getting the chemo so much better. There is always a lot of waiting at the hospital, but when you can enjoy good company the time just flies. I don’t remember all of their names, but certainly remember Wenche and Vibeke 😀

 
 I was lucky to get the same chemo nurse as last time, she is really nice and funny. I had a small the room this time, and Jarle and I had the room to ourselves most of the time. Only at the end of my chemo a man took the other chair. 

The chemo was ok, I just got very tired at the end. The pills I take before treatment also makes you really tired.

   

 
It is now 5 days since chemo. I am having more pain in my knees, headaches, edema. 

The chemobrain is getting worse; I forget names, words, things that just happened. I find it hard to cencentrate.

The hardest part is that the fatigue is kicking in. It comes out of nowhere. Suddenly. No warning. I have to stop whatever I am doing and sit or lie down. All energy leaves the body.

But this Monday morning I got the best of it. Fatigue, my ass! Went to the gym and nailed it 👍💪 cancer schmancer – here is my answer: 

  

Last week (Taxol round 4)

Monday a week ago I was outstandingly social. Had lunch with Liv, went by my office and got a lot of hugs from colleagues, ended the day with coffee with Tom. This resulted in a cough that I am still struggeling with. I tend to overdo it every time I decide to meet people. There is a lesson here somewhere that I just don’t seem to grasp….

Went with my daughter to her dentist last Tuesday and she put a facemask on me to protect me from further germs and infections.

 
I was afraid I would not get my chemo since I was a bit under the weather, but the blood tests came out just fine and I got my weekly poison. This time I met two boob sisters; Wenche with her new eyebrows, and the nice lady  (don’t have the name) who reads my blog and who is always in such a fantastic mood! 

  This last week it has been snowing relentlessly. The picture is from last Thursday morning, showing the view, or lack thereof, from my kitchen window. 

I still have gone for my early morning walks most of the days. It’s such a good way to start the day. Get the engine going. Even if it’s only 15 minutes I truly believe that this is one of the reasons I so far hardly have any weightgain from chemo.

  

Due to me coughing most of the night I get less sleep then needed. Again: thank God for Netflix! Besides “my” series, Jarle and I are now enjoying the latest season of House of cards.

It was my weekend with Silje and we did a lot of puzzles, which we both enjoy.

 

I am beginning to slowly notice some side effects, but doing really well so far. I look like shit, but feel pretty great.

I have dark circles around my eyes. Gotten my first rash, in the face of course. But look at the hair growing on my head!! Always look for the silverlining ❤️