I didn’t get my chemo treatment today.
The side effects are too strong now. Had two nurses talking with me about this at the hospital, a doctor who checked in on me twice and they consulted with my oncologist (he was not present today). This all made me scared and upset so I cried and made even less sense. Then the other doctor and the two nurses came back and said that my body can not tolerate more chemo now. Was finally sent home at 2 pm. At this point I felt really weak since I had my breakfast at 6:30 am and only water since then.
I have had 8 of 12 Taxol treatments and they assured me that this was enough, that is, I do not have a higher risk of relapse than if I had taken all 12?! Well, I choose to believe them. They are the experts. And I certainly feel that I have had enough. Started my different chemo treatments in November 2015.
I should have had less side effects now than right after the previous chemo, but it has only increased: trouble walking properly – especially stairs, can hardly hold a knife / fork, hardly sleeping although I am exhausted, nosebleeds, pain in joints and muscles that are so strong that I have to take painkillers several times a day, tingling / numbness in the fingertips, feeling like walking on cushions, edema, swollen watery eyes, big trouble to stay focused, short term memory is horrible. The list goes on…..
Because there is a risk of permanent damage from the side effects the treatment today was stopped. Going back on Thursday, for blood tests and to meet with my oncologist.
Will I continue with chemotherapy next week? No f…ing way!!!!
Tomorrow I will feel really good about this, for sure, but right now I am just cold and tired. I will now have about 5 weeks to heal before the radiation starts.
Thank you for letting me get this miserable shit off my mind – feel better already ❤️